I’ve injured my wife enough times to make most reasonable people would wonder why she married me. I’m not abusive–don’t worry–I don’t even like being violent to insects and plants, much less beautiful ninjas who know where I sleep. I’m just big and clumsy, and my wife is frequently around.
I had to spend entire decades of my life mastering my oafishly large body so that I could Continue reading
DISCLAIMER: I have influenza (which is a dramatic way of saying “the flu”). I’m pretty sure that this post isn’t contagious, but I ask that you be merciful as you read it.
The night I gained my superpower, I was outside in the middle of the night, completely unprepared for the wintry weather I had discovered. Luckily I was enjoying the novelty of it all, or I might have realized how uncomfortable I was.
Before that night I hadn’t known that cold could hurt. I was more familiar with heat, which I Continue reading
DISCLAIMER: I have influenza (which is a dramatic way of saying “the flu”). I’m pretty sure that this post isn’t contagious, but I ask that you be merciful as you read it.
I have a superpower, and no, I’m not delirious with fever. Don’t get too excited; it’s nothing that lets me fight crime, and I’m not about to post pictures of myself in a flashy leotard. (Not that I wouldn’t create a uniform for myself in a second with the slightest provocation.) Continue reading
